Once upon a long ago, I led Enneagram retreats, using the writings of the saints and scoundrels as models to understand motivational behavior in that paradigm. Along with this tool and commonly used words, we can find illumination that helps us better understand the why of what we do contrary to our better senses.

Most people do not want to be disillusioned, yet to be ‘dissed' or undone of one's illusions is the path to truth. The truth can only set us free if we know what that truth is. We are often happy with what we do not realize are illusions. We content ourselves with seeing through a glass darkly. We hear off-stage, "The truth hurts," and so we settle for less. Often I've asked a friend to tell me what I cannot see of me because I do not own a 3-D mirror. It is not good for a human to be alone.

The word resentment, taken apart, is re-senting, meaning, 'again feeling.' Resenting is to feel again and again, and the one punished is the self. The other person is clueless, having a happy day. By getting stuck in the world of resenting, we have given the culprit power over us in our minds. We allow them to control our feelings by not forgiving, forgiving, forgiving. And lest one be starved of Peace, forgive your poor self who often takes a personal battering. It can be so difficult to forgive, and sometimes to avoid the aforementioned pitfalls, we need to ask a 'Higher Power' to give us the willingness to be willing to forgive.

For an experience of a Higher Power, even if ‘only' with the mind, how about jumping off a boat out on the ocean, and with back to boat and others, do the dead man's float with a snorkel mask (so to see and breathe with face in water), letting the sea hold the body. Just float. One must realx to do so. Gently the body rocks, and soon one feels no bigger than a grain of sand lost among a zillion drops of salty water, impossibly minute upon the vastness of the sea, as in the womb of mother Earth. Then imagine, how small is the ocean, how small is the planet in the infinity of the heavens, and then tell me that there is not a power greater than a mere mortal woman or man.

Grudges sink, loosing their immense significance. Illusions float away. Love and awe grow. Surround yourself with peace and let yourself float. Ripples of peace will emanate from you, touching others you may never see for there is no need to tally your good works. Peace enfolds us and holds us until we choose otherwise. It's called the pursuit of happiness, a freedom we hear of too little.

Go gently, ever so. Worry not. Even dead wood floats.