This came from Dwight Fee of the LowCountry of South Carolina.

By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you, too, can find inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and not finished. So I looked around my house and found all the things I started and didn't finish, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off

• a bottle of Merlot
• a bottle of white Zinfandel
• a bottle of Irish Cream
• a bottle of Kahlua
• a package of Oreos
• the remainder of my old Prozac prescription
• the rest of the cheesecake
• some Doritos
• a box of chocolates
• and a partridge in a pear tree?

You have no idea how freaking good I feel!