Have you ever had a lash in your eye? Most of us have from time to time, and at best, it is extremely irritating. A physical object in our tender eye is almost immediately noticeable. And what about the figurative lash-in-the-eye? A situation or a person that is an irritation to us, that touches a tender nerve? We've all experienced this too, sometimes on a daily basis. And while it is happening, it seems so irritating that we just cannot think about much else.

Whether it is someone we would label as a difficult person, or a reflection of something in our own psyche, these irritations bother us. Naturally, most of us try to avoid such circumstances by avoiding these people, or not thinking about the situation. The thing is, though, by avoiding irritating people or situations, we miss out on the chance to grow, and we miss out on the opportunity to expand our peacemaking skills. And in almost every case, the irritation is not about the other person, it is about me, so dealing with the situation gives me the opportunity to find out something about myself.

The sages know this lash-in-the-eye is an opportunity for learning the skills that matter most in life: patience, forgiveness, and freedom from judgment. It is only when I have detached and let go of the judgments that I can put my arm around someone who has given me a really difficult time, and sincerely say, "Without you in my life, how could I have ever learned to be patient?" What's great about this is I can even do this with someone who is no longer around. In my mind's eye, I can recreate the situation and with sincerity, from my heart, say "Thank you for this opportunity to learn forgiveness."

Good and bad, happiness and sadness, pleasure and pain; these are the very real aspects of life at the outer, superficial level. The less I am bound by these dualities, the more clearly I will be able to see the core of purity, kindness and selflessness that is the real self in everyone, even in people who cause trouble, even in those lash-in-the-eye people.

The goal, the "where we want to get to place", is that of being engaged with every lash-in-the-eye situation, and stand in our integrity in the face of hostility, stand in our persistence in the face of resistance, knowing, yes knowing, that we can remain centered, remain at peace and say "Thank you". We can be with these lash-in-the-eye situations and instead of running away from them, or cursing them, we can bless them for what they are - opportunities to learn patience, forgiveness, and empathy, as well as freedom from likes and dislikes.

Instead of seeing the lash-in-the-eye as an irritation, I can chose to see it in a positive light, because as with all other choices - Peace begins with ME!

(first published Dallas Peace Times Aug 2008 www.DallasPeaceCenter.org)